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Home > Bumper Stickers

Wacky Bumper Stickers

The following is a compilation of the wildest bumper stickers to ever grace a motor vehicle. If you would like to see a bumper sticker added, please contact us.

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"Had a life. Traded it for a faster modem."

"Had a rough week? We're open on Sundays."

"Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig."

"Hands that help are better than lips that pray."

"Hang up and drive!"

"Happiness can't buy money."

"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon"

"Happiness is a warm machine gun."

"Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law’s face on the back of a milk carton."

"Happiness is the planet Earth in your rear-view mirror."

"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now!"

"Hard work never hurt anybody, but why take the risk?"

"Has Anyone Seen My Constitutional Rights?"

"Have fun in bed with someone you love. Use your car for better things."

"Have I found Jesus? don't tell me he is lost again!"

"Have you confused a Christian today?"

"Have You Hugged A Witch Today?"

"Having Abandoned My Search For Truth I Am Now Looking For A Good Fantasy"

"Having children is like being pecked to death by ducks."

"Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others."

"He who dies with the most toys, wins!"

"He who hesitates IS LUNCH!"

"He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit."

"He who hesitates is probably right."

"He who hesitates pisses off everyone behind him."

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."

"He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged."

"He's YOUR God, They're YOUR rules, YOU go to Hell!"

"He's YOUR God. They're YOUR rules. YOU burn in Hell!"

"Head sucks - really it does!"

"Heading in the wrong direction? God allows U-turns."

"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."

"Heart Attacks...God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends."

"Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over."

"Heaven is a lonely place. Everybody thinks they're the only one going"

"Heaven's for saved people... not good people!"

"Heaven, not a place but a state of mind"

"Heavily medicated for your safety"

"Heavily medicated for your safety."

"Heck is a place for people who don't believe in gosh."

"Hell is like Florida: It's not the heat, it's the humidity"

"Hell's too hot; Heaven's full of religious people. That's supposed to be a choice?"

"Hello, officer. Put it on my tab."

"Help beautify our dumps. Throw away something pretty."

"Help starve a feeding bureaucrat."

"Help wanted: Telepath - you know where to apply"

"Help! I Farted and can't roll down my windows!"

"Help! I've tripped and I can't come down!"

"Hemp Hemp Hooray"

"Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it."

"Heredity is the thing a child gets from the other side of the family."

"Hey jerk! You are driving a car, not a phone booth"


"Hire teenagers while they still know everything!"

"Hire the Handicapped... We're fun to watch!"

"History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other."

"Hit 'em all! Let EMT's sort 'em out."

"Honesty pays, but not enough"

"Honk all you want. I'm deaf!"

"Honk Forty Times if you're Orthodox"

"Honk if anything falls off."

"Honk if I'm paying your mortgage."

"Honk if you are God."

"Honk if you are just a honker."

"Honk if You Don't Exist"

"Honk if you hate noise pollution."

"Honk if you love cheeses."

"Honk if you love peace and quiet."

"Honk if you see something fall off."

"Honk If you think I'm Jesus"

"Honk if you understand Punctuated Equilibrium."

"Honk If You Want To See My Finger."

"Honk if you're illiterate!"

"Honk if you're not wearing underwear!"

"Honk if you've betrayed Our Lord"

"Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window!"

"Horn Broken -- Watch for Finger"

"Horn not working, Watch for hand signals"

"Housework is evil, it must be stopped."

"How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?"

"How Dare you assume I'm a Christian!"

"How do I set my laser printer on stun?"

"How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?"

"How do you pamper your parents? That depends."

"How is it possible to have a civil war?"

"How long do I have to be a grad student before I can petition for tenure?"

"How many pinheads can dance on the head of a Hell's Angel?"

"How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?"

"How may I ignore you today?"

"How much deeper would the ocean be, if sponges didn't live there?"

"Hug you kids at home and belt them in the car."

"Hukt on fonix reely wurkt for mee!"

"Humpty Dumpty didn't fall...he was pushed."

"Humpty was pushed!"

Total Bumper Stickers: 94

All Bumper Stickers in Database: 2093

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Have a Bumper Sticker that's not in our database? Contact Us and we'll add it to the page.