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Home > Bumper Stickers

Wacky Bumper Stickers

The following is a compilation of the wildest bumper stickers to ever grace a motor vehicle. If you would like to see a bumper sticker added, please contact us.

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"Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand."

"Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer."

"Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!"

"Teach. Don’t Preach."

"Techno-Pagan. I worship the holy Mother Board."

"Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun."

"Telepath wanted. You know where to apply."

"Televangelists – Pro Wrestlers of Religion"

"Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist."

"Testing drugs on computers just makes them safe for computers."

"Thank God for the IRS. Without them I'd be stinking rich!"

"Thank God I'm an atheist."

"Thank God Mary and Joseph weren't pro choice!"

"THANK YOU for deciding what's good for me."

"Thank you for not breeding."

"That was Zen. This is Tao!"

"That which does not kill me pisses me off."

"The #1 cause of divorce is Marriage."

"The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity."

"The best things in life are free plus tax."

"The best things in life aren't things."

"The best way to get on your feet is to get off your ass!"

"The Big Bang theory: And God said 'Pulleth my Finger'"

"The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG it Happened."

"The Cat Philosophy of Life: If you can't Eat it or Shred it, then Sleep on it."

"The closer you get, the slower I go."

"The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content."

"The complaint department is closed!"

"The computer revolution is over – the computers won!"

"The Damned Make Better Lovers"

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."


"The Earth is full. Go Home!"

"The Face is familiar but I can't quite remember my Name."

"The fact that no-one understands you does NOT make you an artist"

"The feline philosophy: If you can't eat it or shred it, sleep on it."

"The First Amendment grants Freedom of Speech. THE SECOND GUARANTEES IT!"

"The four essential elements: Means, Motive, Opportunity and Chocolate!"

"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."

"The good old days: When sex was dirty and Michael Jackson was black."

"The grass is always greener on TV!"

"The High Holidays have absolutely nothing to do with marijuana."

"The kids drive me crazy. I drive them everywhere!"

"The last time they combined religion and government, people got burned at the stake."

"The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to recent cutbacks."

"The lord is my shepherd, but he's looking for a better job!"

"The lottery is a tax for people who are bad at math."

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

"The male sex drive prevents extinction. The female sex drive prevents overpopulation."

"The media are only as liberal as the conservative businesses that own them"

"The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open."

"The more I learn about terrorism, the better I understand the phone company"

"The more people I meet, the more I like my cat."

"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."

"The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value."

"The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth."

"The only trouble with Baptists is they don’t hold them under long enough."

"The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity."

"The opposite of progress is Congress."

"The problem with religious texts is that the answers aren't in the back, either."

"The Rapture already happened -- no one made the cut."

"The rapture was last night!"

"The real problem with Baptists is that they never quite seem to hold them under long enough."

"The religious right is neither."

"The road to hell is paved with Democrats"

"The road to hell is paved with Republicans"

"The road to success is usually under construction."

"The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography"

"The seed of the soul is to serve"

"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."

"The trouble with life is there's no background music."

"The trouble with political jokes is that they get elected."

"The truth is out there. Trust no one. Deny everything."

"The urge to scream tells me I must be at work."

"The Virgin Mary Was An Unwed Teenage Mother"

"The waist is a terrible thing to mind."

"The way to a man's heart is between the fourth and fifth ribs"

"The worst day of fishing is better than the best day at work"

"There are not enough hours in the day for all the bitching I need to do."

"There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead."

"There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's."

"There is no freedom OF religion without freedom FROM religion."

"There's a sucker reborn every minute"

"There's no business like show business, but there's no job like a blow job."

"There's no place like"

"There's no police like Holmes."

"There's one in every crowd and they always find me."

"There's too much blood in my alcohol system."

"There's too much blood in my caffeine system."

"They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."

"They couldn't repair my brakes, so they made my horn louder."

"They said it couldn't be done and I proved it."

"They told me I was gullible... and I believe them."

"They're Lying"

"They're not hot flashes...they're POWER SURGES!"

"Think this looks bad? You should see the front."

"This car is designed by computer, built by a robot, driven by a moron."

"This car is like my husband, if it ain't yours don't touch it!"

"This car stops for all roadkills."

"This is my other car!"

"This is not an abandoned vehicle."

"This may not be the Mayflower, but your daughter came across in it."

"This truck belongs to me. Everything else belongs to her"

"This truck has been in 15 accidents... and hasn’t lost one yet!"

"This vehicle is insured by Smith&Wesson."

"This would be really funny if it weren't happening to ME."

"Those who can, Teach. Those who cannot teach ARE RUNNING THE SCHOOLS!"

"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't."

"Thou shall not steal... my automobile!"

"Time flies when you don't know what you're doing."

"Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once."

"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!"

"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once."

"Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods."

"Tired of being around? Call Dr. Jack."

"Tithe if you love Jesus. Any fool can honk."

"To a Cat, People are just Furniture that does Tricks."

"To a dog, you're one of the family. To a cat, you're one of the help."

"To all you virgins...thanks for nothing!"

"To err is human. To forgive is against company policy."

"To err is human. To really foul things up requires computers."

"To hell with the Baptists. I’m going to Disneyland."

"To hell with the dog, beware of the owner."

"To some it's a six-pack. To me it's a support group."

"Today isn't your day. Tomorrow isn't looking too hot, either."

"Today's subliminal message is: ( )"

"Tolkien is Hobbit-forming."

"Too bad stupidity isn't painful."

"Too Bad This Thing Can't Do 666 Mph."

"Too many freaks not enough circuses"

"Tow-ers will be violated!"

"Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel."

"Trust in God, but lock your car."

"Trust me, I work for the government!"

"Trust me, I'm a lawyer!"

"Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left."

Total Bumper Stickers: 136

All Bumper Stickers in Database: 2093

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